When In Rome
by Preciousss
Summary: What have the Scoobies been up to since Chosen? Buffy and Willow talk about love, the stars, Tara, Kennedy, and Spike in this chapter.
1. Do Like The Romans

When in Rome  
  
Here's a story about Buffy's new life and what she did after Chosen. This story starts during the Angel episode Damage.  
  
1 Do Like the Roman  
  
Let's set up a feeling, an ambiance if you will. It's warm, it's sunny, or it was a few minutes ago. Now the sun is setting, casting golden light and long shadows all over. Spike had once told her that vampires can feel it when the sun is about to rise, like a warning, telling them to head to safety. She got a feeling as the sun was setting, except hers told her to go out into the night.  
  
Rome wasn't as big on demonic activity as Sunnydale was. Then again, nowhere in the world, not even Cleveland, was as big with the big scaries... not even Sunnydale any more.  
  
"Hey Buff." Dawn said, coming over to her sister who was standing on their balcony, watching the sun set.  
  
"Hey... I thought you were going to practice speaking Italian." Buffy reprimanded, giving Dawn a sisterly bordering on motherly side glance.  
  
Dawn smirked "Parlo l'italiano tutto il giorno! And anyways, you don't know what I'm saying." Dawn said glibly. Then Dawn switched into mother mode "YOU don't practice."  
  
"Do too! It's hard. It's a whole 'nother language!" Buffy whined. "You big language freak! How many do you know now, anyway?"  
  
Dawn contemplated for a little bit "Well, not including the dead ones, about five."  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes, heading back into their apartment and mumbling "freak" under her breath as she passed Dawn.  
  
"Aw, is someone a wittle jealous?" Dawn baby-talked teasingly.  
  
"Of you? I don't think so. I tan much better." Buffy said walking into the kitchen nook of their little apartment.  
  
"My hair is shinier." Dawn countered.  
  
"Yeah? Well, my bone structure's better."  
  
"I'm taller."  
  
"I'm stronger."  
  
"I'm smarter."  
  
"I'm better."  
  
It was becoming an all out cat fight, fists would have flown, in a sisterly way, of course, if not for the phone that began to ring.  
  
"I'm faster!" cried Dawn, running to the wall phone next to the fridge and answering it, before Buffy had a chance. However, after a moment her face dropped into bummed out mode, and she informed her sister it was for her.  
  
Buffy gave her sister a teasingly snide smile that seemed to suggest she had won. But then her face dropped too, just a business call.  
  
"Hello, Andrew." Dawn listened to her sister's side of the conversation, and wondered what the call was about. "Okay, you have the tickets? Right, bring her here first. We'll see what we can do. No worries, I've dealt with crazy before. Just get everyone back in one piece." and she hung up the phone.  
  
Buffy turned to her sister, anticipating her questions "Tortured potential turned into to psychotic slayer."  
  
"There's hope though, right? I mean, look at Faith. She and Principle Wood are off living the dream now... If you're dream involved monsters and killing stuff." Dawn commented.  
  
ÒYeah. Well, I hope thereÕs hope. Every case is, ya know, itÕs own case. WeÕll have to see.Ó Buffy realistically asserted.  
  
ÒWhere is Andrew? If he doesnÕt get me a souvenir this time! Andrew went to Disneyland and all I got was this dumb nothing!Ó Dawn pouted.  
  
Buffy got a little tenser, her ex was still a sore-spot for her. ÒL.A.Ó she said, finally.  
  
Dawn, who had been bending down looking for something in the cabinets bounced up to look at Buffy. ÒOh. Well then why canÕt Angel deal with it. It seems like a lot of trouble to get Miss Crazy all the way over here when it can be dealt with on her home turf.Ó  
  
ÒHeÕs at Evil Incorporated now. We canÕt trust him. IÕm sure selling your soul is just as bad as losing it.Ó Buffy said, averting her eyes.  
  
ÒYour such a drama queen!Ó Dawn sighed ÒWhy would Angel give you that amulet thing-y to save the world, just to go and try to ruin it.Ó  
  
ÒMaybe he just wantedÐÓ Buffy stopped ÒMaybe it was more fun, or... I donÕtÐ IÕm just trying to be safe Dawnie.Ó  
  
Dawn walked over to her sister and put a hand on her sisters longer honey-colored hair ÒSorry, I didnÕt mean to bring up a sore subject.Ó She said, lightly stroking it, before suddenly using it to pull her sister to the couch in front of the TV.  
  
ÒOw ow ow!Ó Buffy whined, calling Dawn a ÒBig freak!Ó when she finally let go.  
  
ÒNow, sit! ItÕsÐ yay!Ð Muzzie time! We will learn-o italiano!Ó Dawn said scarily enthusiastic. 


	2. Sleep On A Bed Of Hay

When in Rome  
  
Hopefully I will start updating more often now! I hope you enjoy! Please review.  
  
2 Sleep on a Bed of Hay  
  
There were little chirping birdies, and bright, bright sunshine shining, and the smell of cinnamon was wafting in from the kitchen. It was bordering on ridiculous. "Did I wake up in some Norman Rockwell painting?" Dawn wondered to herself. Then she heard her sisters voice.  
  
"I don't know if chaining her up is our best bet." Nope, it was no Norman Rockwell. "I know, but it must have been really traumatic the first time around. I just don't think that would be the best thing for her."  
  
"Hey, we have to think of us, too! How guilty would you feel, if a slayer you helped to create, murdered everyone. Me included!" Dawn said, walking in to the room.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes, and continued to talk on the phone, assumedly to Andrew. "She's tranqed now, right? So, keep a few slayers on her, and come over to my apartment and we can talk." There was a pause, as Andrew said something that seemed to annoy/confuse (take you pick) Buffy. Finally, she interupted him, scolding "Just head over here!"  
  
"Andrew?" Dawn asked walking in to the kitchen.  
  
"Always." Her sister answered. Not speaking the local language had put a bit of a damper on her social life. Buffy wished Willow or Xander would come back. Talking on the phone just wasn't the same, and besides, Rome was way better then South America or Africa any day of the week. It felt weird, them split up all over the world.  
  
Dawn noticed the somewhat bitter tone in her sisters voice, but before she could say anything Buffy interceted. "I'm making sticky buns! I was in a sweet mood, oat bran wasn't gonna cut it."  
  
"Yummy. No one's complaining!" Dawn smiled, plopping down next to her sister, in the small kitchen table. Just as Dawn's hiney touched the seat Buffy's got up. The little oven ringer started buzzing. "Ooo, they're ready!"  
  
Buffy grabbed an oven mit. Buffy always knew she wasn't normal, but rescently she had grown a biggie sized helping of disdain for oven mits, of all things, and realized she was a spectacularly large weirdo. It wasn't oven mits per se that she despised, they were symbolic of something larger, to Buffy. Dawn had made her one once, back in second grade. Sure it was holey and lopsided, but Buffy missed it. They lost everything, except a few photos and money she happened to keep in her wallet. They had no idea Sunnydale was going to cave in, they hadn't packed. And so, when they setteled down, Buffy had to buy a new oven mit, a new everything.  
  
"Are you gonna use that to take out the cinnamon rolls, or are you just going to gaze at it, Miss Thousand-Yard-Stare?" Dawn asked, reminding Buffy what she was holding the oven mit for. Just as she opened the oven the door burst opened.  
  
"Wow, that was quick." Buffy said, not looking up, simply assuming it was Andrew.  
  
However, it was a woman's voice that answered her, close to tears. "I know!"  
  
Buffy nearly dropped the tray when she heard that voice, but she managed to catch it. But then she abandoned it, and ran towards the woman in the doorway.  
  
"Willow!" She cried, happily hugging her. Willow managed a genuine smile, but when Buffy pulled away she could see her friend was really upset. "What's wrong?" She asked.  
  
"Kennedy! We got into such a huge fight. But it's more than that, we don't... well, we're not... a couple anymore. I just couldn't stay around her, it's too hard." Buffy hugged Willow again, and then Dawn came up to them, and they made a Willow sandwhich. Willow let out a teary laugh.  
  
"Looks like I have perfect timing, delicious food is being served." Willow said.  
  
"Buffy made it, but seeing as how it's not part meat part vegatable, we should be fine." Dawn teased, heading back towards the kitchen.  
  
"Ha ha." Buffy said, following her into the kitchen, and grabbing Willow's arm in hers. "Are you okay?" She whispered to her friend.  
  
"I will be, now." She smiled.  
  
Buffy walked over to the rolls, and started topping them with icing, while Dawn and Willow caught up. Then she brought them over to the table, and they all chowed down, saving one for Andrew, for when he came.  
  
They were finished, and seriously contemplating just stealing the lone sticky bun for themself, but then the door bell rang.  
  
"It's open!" Buffy called. Dealing with vampires, who needed more then an unlocked to to get in gave Buffy a false sense of the world. She tried, but she just couldn't get into the habit of locking the door. At least it would save her from Slasher Movie Damsel Syndrom (you know, where the killers coming, and they're so scared they drop the keys, and then die).  
  
Andrew walked in.  
  
"Check out the 'do." Willow smiled, noticing his longer hair style.  
  
Andrew jumped back, starteled. "Wow, people are just reappearing all over the place!"  
  
"Huh?" the girls questioned.  
  
Andrew mumbled underneath his breath. He was so clumsy. He almost let it slip about SpiÐ He Who Must Not Be Mentioned To Any Of The Scoobies.  
  
"UmÐ wellÐ you knowÐ" he stumbled. "Dana! Right! Dana! Another slayer, poppin' up, like uh, a weed! Or tribbles."  
  
Willow looked at him really hard. "Stop staring at me!" he yelled nervously, and averted his eyes.  
  
"You're lying about something." Willow said, then she looked at Buffy and Dawn "And you haven't been sleeping." she said to Buff "And your worried."  
  
"What!?" Dawn said, touching her had, as if she thought there was a little cartoon thought bubble coming out of it.  
  
"I've been working on my wicca... Kennedy was helping me! I was her kite!" Willow said, tearing up again.  
  
"Oh, boy." Buffy sighed.  
  
Dawn looked at Buffy. "What I'm worried about, is you Buffy." She told her. "What's wrong? why haven't you been sleeping?"  
  
Buffy felt a sting, she didn't want to make her sister worry. "It's nothing Dawn, just these silly dreams I've been having."  
  
"Slayer dreams?" Willow asked.  
  
Buffy really didn't want to get into this. "At first I thought they were. Probably it's just wishful thinking, though."  
  
Buffy got up and started picking up the dishes and bringing them to the sink. "Here, Andrew." She said, handing him a roll, which made his face light up.  
  
"Yay, I can get that dirty penny taste out of my mouth." The three girls looked at him, a little weirded.  
  
When he failed to embelish, Buffy asked "Why do you have dirty penny taste in your mouth?"  
  
"Hey! Don't change the subject!" Willow said, standing up, and walking over to Buffy before he could answer.  
  
"What subject?" Buffy asked, coyly playing dumb.  
  
Willow gave her an impatient smile. "What were you dreaming about."  
  
"I just thought, maybe, Spike wasn't dead." Buffy said, softly.  
  
Andrew tensened up. Willow reached out for her friends hand, Buffy grabbing hold of it. "He is, Buffy. I know that kind of thing is hard to deal with. I can help. 'Cause of Tara." Willow said, her eyes welling up again.  
  
"Umm" Andrew started.  
  
TBC 


	3. Waterways And Dams

When In Rome  
  
When In Rome  
  
If anyone is into Peter Pan, please check out my fic Neverland Away. No one's read it and that makes me sad. Thanks to the reviewers, I like to when people read this stuff!  
  
3 Waterways And Dams  
  
It's a well known fact that Romans were once known for their well built dams and aqueducts. However, like some really old people with hairy ears say: they don't make things like they used to. Up to this point Andrew had been inches away from spilling his secret, and Willow had been seconds away from letting the water works flow. The Summers apartment had been consumed with chaos.  
  
Andrew shoved his cinnamon bun in his mouth to keep from talking, and Willow suddenly got up and ran into what she thought was the bathroom, but was actually the broom closet. A few seconds later she emerged looking sheepish, and Buffy pointed her the way to the real bathroom, which Willow then went in to wash her face, and hopefully the feeling that she was about to cry, away.  
  
When things calmed down, Buffy turned to Andrew "You were saying?"  
  
Andrew's eyes enlarged, almost popping out of his head (not literally), and with his mouth filled with food, he managed to mumble "I ma'nt npaying amyfing" which Buffy deciphered as "I wasn't saying anything."  
  
Buffy raised her eyebrow and gave him a disapproving look "You were going to tell me what you're lying about."  
  
"I wasn't lying!" Andrew's eyes darted around the room in a highly suspicious manner.  
  
"Hmm... Who am I gonna believe, my best friend, or a formally evil nerd." Buffy pretended to contemplate.  
  
"Who are you gonna believe? The person actually thinking the thoughts? Or, some witch?" Andrew said, finally forcing himself to look at Buffy he added "Unless she's never made any kind of magical errors."  
  
Buffy stopped, remembering all the botched magic spells her friend had done. There was her first Angel ensouling try, and that spell where she got engaged to Spike, and the one where she wiped out all of their memories. She had had her fair share of mishaps. But she also had her fair share of good spells too, like the second ensouling spell, the one to join essence with the first slayer, and the one to make all girls slayers. Plus, this new ability wasn't a spell, exactly. More like wicca enhanced intuition. Besides, Buffy trusted her.  
  
"Andrew, what are you- you're not evil again, are you!?" Buffy gasped.  
  
"What?! No!!" Andrew quickly replied, swallowing his food.  
  
"I think she would've gotten more than a 'lying' vibe if he were evil, Buff." Dawn sighed.  
  
"Yeah!" Andrew agreed.  
  
Buffy smiled "So, you think Willow's intuition is spot on, then?" She asked.  
  
Andrew grimaced, finally he answered "Fine, but everyone has their secrets."  
  
"Not us!" Buffy objected, which made Dawn bitterly laugh.  
  
"Oh yes, everything's fine, I'm just dreaming my dead ex came back to life." Dawn angrily retorted.  
  
Buffy threw her hands up in resignation. "Aaah!" she cried "Why are we all so crazy?! I can't help what I dream."  
  
"I'm not mad at you for dreaming it, I'm mad at you for not letting me help you." Dawn nearly growled.  
  
"I'm sorry Dawnie, I didn't want to worry you."  
  
"I was worried anyway." Dawn breathed. "But I guess I understand." She paused, finally decided to muster up the courage to ask "Did you- did you love him?"  
  
Andrew's ears perked up, but all Buffy said was "It doesn't matter anymore."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It was one week later. Willow had taken up residence on the Summers' futon in their living room. Dawn was currently at school and Andrew had gone back to Giles' the first chance he got. He seemed to have been trying to get away from something, Buffy thought. However, it mustn't have been that bad or scary because the doorbell rang, and Andrew's face appeared at the door when Buffy answered it.  
  
"Andrew, what brings you to this neck of the woods, and so soon since your last visit?" Buffy glibly asked.  
  
But it didn't take wicca intuition to know something was wrong by the way Andrew was looking at her. There was something Andrew didn't want to tell her.  
  
Willow walked in behind Buffy. "Andrew!" she exclaimed, but then she saw it too. "What's wrong?" she asked.  
  
"Giles, he sent me. He's headed to L.A. already." Andrew said.  
  
"Another apocalypse?" Buffy asked in an exasperated yet business-like tone.  
  
"No. A funeral." he answered.  
  
Apocalypses, those you could deal with, slay something scaly, or end a blood ritual, but death? Nobody's ever really ready to deal with that.  
  
TBC  
  
After ME didn't follow up on Cordy's death, I decided I'd do it for them. 


	4. All Roads

When In Rome  
  
4 All Roads  
  
There's an expression "All roads lead to Rome", I guess that means all roads lead away from it, too.  
  
Currently that's what the gang was doing. They were leaving their new home to head back to an old place that only had death to offer. All four of them, Buffy, Dawn, Willow, and Andrew, were sitting on a plane flying towards L.A.  
  
Andrew kept awkwardly looking over at Buffy. He opened his mouth a couple of times, to be honest he looked kind of like a fish out of water. Finally, Buffy turned to him and grumpily asked "What?!"  
  
"What?" Andrew retorted, his voice three octaves too high.  
  
"You keep looking at me and gaping." She replied, a little short of temper. All Andrew could do in return was gape some more. Buffy rolled her eyes and turned back away from the aisle. Willow was sitting next to her, staring out the window. She hadn't spoken the entire flat except to ask the stewardess for another bag of peanuts.  
  
Willow had cried the night Andrew came and told them the news. It wasn't even that she and Cordy had been the best of friends... they hadn't. But if you had asked Will to list all the characteristics present on Cordy, yeah, sure 'bitch', 'snob' and 'narcissus' would be on the list, but so would 'alive'. She was the most honest and energetic person Willow had ever known, she almost felt like Cordy could never die, like her life force would be too strong. But it wasn't. Cordelia was dead. She had to say it a few times in her head before she could really comprehend it, and when she finally did, she began to cry. Sunnydale was slowly fading away.  
  
Buffy and Dawn hadn't cried. Not right then, anyway. But Buffy had heard Dawn quietly sobbing in her room that night when she couldn't get to sleep.   
  
For Buffy, it hadn't sunk in yet. She hadn't seen Cordelia for such a long time, it didn't really feel like anything was different. But something was, because now she never *could* see her again, and before there was always the possibility. She didn't think about it much, but she realized, some part of her always expected her to talk to Cordelia again, the thought that she wouldn't even have the chance...  
  
"I haven't ever really met her." Dawn said, breaking them all out of their own private thoughts. "Not really. I think I did. I remember meeting her, but I haven't." They were all quiet, they didn't know what to say. "Do you think she remembers-" Dawn caught herself, then nervously stuttered "re-remembered- did she have memories of me? Or did the monks only bother to put the memories in current Sunnydale residents- well not current now, 'cause now Sunnydale's a big crater, current then, when I was created."  
  
"She knows you, Dawnie." Willow said, leaning out to see Dawn, and giving her a small smile.  
  
Andrew was incredibly uncomfortable. He didn't really know Cordelia, so he didn't know how to comfort them. And then there was the thought he kept thinking, that he should tell them all now that Spike was alive, so nobody would make a big deal out of it at the funeral. This day was supposed to be about Cordelia.  
  
There was a little 'bing', and the little seat belt light lit up. A stewardess came in and told them all to buckle up their seat belts, they would be landing in L.A. shortly.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It was 10:30 am, the plane was a little late arriving, Wesley noted. Then he spotted them walking out of the terminal, the blonde, the redhead, the brunette, and the weird guy that took Dana away. They spotted him too.  
  
"Hey Wesley... and two other people I don't know." Buffy said coming up to them.  
  
"Hi." The squeaky southern girl said, rocking on the balls of her feet.  
  
"Hi, Fred." Willow said.  
  
"Nice to meet you all, my name is Dawn." She said reaching out and shaking Fred, Gunn and Wes's hands.  
  
"We've met before." Wesley said, raising his eyebrows a bit.  
  
"Well, not for real."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Should I go? I didn't really know her. But I... she seemed good... honest, like the kind of person I would've respected if I'd gotten to know her." A pacing figure in Angel's Wolfram and Hart office wondered allowed "I might just mess everything up, though, if Buffy comes. I wouldn't want to do that. What do you think?" Spike finally asked, breaking his rant.  
  
Angel just looked at him for a moment. "I really don't know, Spike." he said exasperatedly. "I don't have the time to deal with this. I don't have the anything to deal with any of this."  
  
Spike stood still and looked at Angel for a moment. "You want, should I just bugger off? That's what I'll do. I go find out if Harmony has gotten a hold of Cor's parents yet. I'll let you know."  
  
Angel nodded in broody approval, and Spike left the office.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The girls walked in to their hotel room. There was radiator buzzing, and two queen sized beds with inexplicably patterned sheets on them. The sky was glowy and white with clouds threatening to pour rain down on them. It was that type of cloud that came before and after storms, and caught the sunlight, so that all the rays that reached the earth were duller and more evenly distributed. There were hardly any shadows. Buffy put her suitcase down, and sat on the edge of the bed. She just stayed there frozen, listening to the hum of the radiator for a while.  
  
"Maybe we should unpack." Dawn said, but then she too sat down. The radiator kept buzzing. It didn't stop all night long.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The next evening they had the funeral. It was held at dusk so Angel could come. It was still cloudy anyway, though. It turned out Cordelia's mother had died around a year ago from some disease, and her father was still in jail for tax fraud. Some of the Cordetts were there though, Harmony included. And all the Scoobies and the Fang Gang, too.  
  
"Xander!" Willow said, running over to him and hugging him tightly. He held her back, and they stayed that way for a good few minutes. Finally they let go, and he hugged Dawn and Buffy. Giles walked over to them and gave them a brief bittersweet smile.  
  
The funeral began.   
  
Wesley started to cry, it was unusual to see... but how could he not? There was a stone that said "Cordelia Chase 1981-2004" that meant Cordy was never coming back. Fred was crying, too, and Buffy saw a tear slide down Xander's cheek. And although he didn't cry, it was obvious Angel's heart was breaking. Buffy questioned briefly if that meant Angel wasn't evil after all, but then remembered even soulless Spike had the ability to love her.  
  
She didn't know if it was simply the act of thinking his name, but Buffy suddenly got a tingly sensation that Spike was there. She quickly glanced behind her, but didn't see anything. What she missed was the form of Spike standing in the shadows, listening to the story of a girl who lived and died, and managed to build up a shoe collection to rival Imelda Marcos's. She was Cordelia Chase, and always will be.  
  
TBC 


	5. Sight Seeing

When In Rome  
  
This chapter was really hard to title, 'cause they're NOT in Rome. :-) Anyway, sorry it took me so long to update: English paper. Here ya go.  
  
5 Sight Seeing  
  
The mourners had moved underneath an awning of a closed shop to wait for that cars to return. It had started drizzling, though not until Cordelia was safely underground. Safely. The word had bitter humor when talking about a dead person, and it was not lost on Buffy.  
  
Suddenly Angel was standing beside her. "She picked out that dress, you know." He said looking out at the graveyard, almost as if he were talking to himself. "Me and Wes, we took her shopping after she woke up. She got two outfits, just two. The one she would wear that day, and..." Angel seemed like he was about to choke up, but then he recovered and continued "the one she would wear for the funeral. She knew. She knew her end was coming, but it shouldn't have. It should've been me. I've lived enough lifetimes one person, let alone 10, and ended so much more. But Cordelia? She was a hero. She would've made the world so much better, and I don't understand why the Powers would do this. She's supposed to be here."  
  
Buffy looked at Angel, she didn't know quite what to say. Than she realized, there was nothing she *could* say, nothing that would matter anyway. She knew that from experience. So instead she simply reached out and gave his hand a squeeze.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Angel and Wes's car had come, along with the Cordettes (two separate vehicles for the dead and the alive former members), and Fred, Gunn, Lorne and the Scoobies were all still waiting.  
  
Xander's eye was finally clear (not as invisible, just as in "the tears were gone and he could see again"). And with that new found seeing power he spotted a shiny platinum head amidst all the gray of the rainy evening.  
  
"I'm going insane." Xander said to himself.  
  
"Well, talking to yourself definitely is not a good sign." Willow said coming up behind him.  
  
"It's just, wellÐ oh sheesh am I overreacting!" Xander suddenly 'realized' "There are tons of people in the world who dye there hair."  
  
"That's true." Willow agreed, not understanding what on earth Xander was talking about.  
  
"Yeah," but looking at the figure in the distance he was becoming less and less sure. "Look, Will, I gotta do something real quick, if our car comes, stall it."  
  
"Sure, but where are yÐ" but it was too late, Xander was already running off towards the bleach.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Spike spotted Xander heading his way, so he ducked back behind some potted plants that lined the outdoor shopping center he was standing in. He had figured Xander was coming for some mysterious reason, but it somehow did not occur to him that Xander might have spotted him, so it came as a surprise when Xander was standing right next to him.  
  
"So it is you." Xander said astounded. "What the hell."  
  
Spike was frozen, he didn't know what to do. He looked around in all directions "What you mean me?" he asked feigning cluelessness.  
  
"No, I'm talking to the other supposedly dead vampire." Xander said, impatient.  
  
"Well, that I'm dead is no surprise, I've always been dead... well, since 1880 that is." Spike said, this time feigning cockiness.  
  
Xander looked like he didn't want to deal with Spike's games. "Do I look like I want to deal with your games?"  
  
"No, I don't supposed you do look like you want to deal with my games."  
  
"Do you want to tell me what's really going on?"  
  
Spike didn't want to tell Xander what was really going on "No, I don't supposed I do really want to tell you what's really going on."  
  
Xander was bored of this "Well, shucks! 'Cause your gonna."  
  
Spike sighed and took a deep breath (not that he really needed one). "There was the amulet."  
  
"The Elizabeth Taylor-slash-Mr. T costume jewelry castoff, right. The one that Buffy said killed you." Xander confirmed.  
  
"Right, let's remember I was already dead..." Spike off-topic-ed again.  
  
"So, you're saying it didn't kill you?" Xander wondered.  
  
"No, it did. It just killed me *more*, more being the operative word, mate."  
  
Xander shook his head and sighed. "Continue," he requested.  
  
"Right, so, I'm dusting, and the next thing I know, I'm undusting... but in Wolfram & Hart. It was all very weird. Angel and Harmony both there: I thought I was in hell. Turns out I wasn't that far off the mark. I was a ghost, couldn't touch or feel anything. Trapped with the guy who gets everything I get, only first and better (that's Angel). And some Pavayne guy is trying to pull me in to hell."  
  
"After saving the world? I'd of thought you'd get a choir of chubby babies with wings and harps." Xander questioned.  
  
Spike had to stop for a moment. He was surprised in Xander... he actually thought Spike didn't deserve to go to hell? He wanted to thank Xander, or tell him what that meant to him. But he wasn't good at the mushy stuff, and besides, he didn't *want* that to matter to him. So instead he continued with his story. "Right, so, I didn't go to hell, obviously. And then one day I just, poof, became corporeal."  
  
"So are you human now?" Xander asked.  
  
"Nope, still a souled vampire. Two in the world, and two in L.A. Anyway, some guy DoyleÐ uh Lindsey... a guy Lindsey pretending to be Doyle comes and tells me all the places where people need saving, says he has visions. Turns out he was just Angel's old enemy, trying to get back at him or something. The real Doyle was some guy who gave Angel the mission, and Cordy the visions. He gave them purpose, and that's what I wanted, so I let myself be tricked." Spike said, still disgusted by the whole chain of events.  
  
"Hey, don't be so hard on yourself, man." Xander comforted "I realized something, after Sunnydale caved in and Anya diedÐ"  
  
"Sunnydale caved in!? Anya died!?" Spike asked, shocked.  
  
"Oh, Jesus, I though you knew." Xander said, feeling sorry for dropping it on him like that.  
  
"So, Anya's dead? The fight?" Spike asked sadly, she truly was his favorite Scooby member.  
  
"Yeah, she died fighting."  
  
"It doesn't make sense to me. Cordy, Anya... the honest ones are gone. Now who's gonna tell you you look like a poof with that eye patch?" Spike asked.  
  
"Well, I guess you." Xander answered.  
  
"Or maybe I'm next. I keep thinking... things don't go like I want them to. I try, my best. Believe me, but thing just don't work out." Spike confessed. He was a little shocked he did, it wasn't something he was admitting to himself, let alone XANDER! of all people?  
  
"That brings me back to what I was saying before. You have to find something in yourself first, Spike, before you can find it in other places. And not *all* things go wrong. Example: Buffy." Xander informed Spike, who was staring at him unconvinced.  
  
"What about Buffy?" he asked skeptically.  
  
"Well, more specifically: you and Buffy." Xander elaborated.  
  
Spike snickered. "Oh yeah, the prospects looked great from over here. Especially with her holding Angel's hand. Oh, and that pesky part where I'm dead to her, literally."  
  
"Well that can be fixed easy!" Xander said jubilantly. "Let's go tell her." and he started to turn away.  
  
"No!" Spike nearly shouted, grabbing Xander's arm and stopping him from continuing back towards the awning.  
  
A shocked Xander turned to face Spike "What's the deal?"  
  
Realizing his drama-queen-ness he lowered his voice and admitted "I'm not ready for that."  
  
"Well, get ready. 'Cause I'm not letting her leave town without knowing you're back. I owe her more than that, and so do you." Xander informed, and in that moment they made a silent contract. Xander wouldn't tell her yet, but no matter what, by the end of the trip, she would know.  
  
Xander began to walk back to the congregation of Cordy fans, but Spike called out to him.  
  
"You know that girl Fred. The little yet terribly perky Texan?"  
  
"Yeah..." Xander answered questioningly.  
  
"She has a whole genius with a crazy science lab thing going on. Ask her about your eye."  
  
"Ask her what about my eye?" Xander asked still incredibly lost.  
  
"To give you a new one. I get a paycheck now, so if she's going to make you pay, just give it to me... the bill not the eye, you got that, right?"  
  
Xander smiled "Yeah, I get it."  
  
TBC 


	6. A Trip Down Memory Lane

When In Rome  
  
Again, not in Rome! :-) Thanks for the nice reviews guys, they make me smile (they also make me afraid that this chapter is gonna suck and you'll be disappointed, but that's a whole 'nuther story!) Anyhoo... this chapter takes place a couple of days later, and obviously goes into it's own post-You're Welcome world.  
  
6 Trip Down Memory Lane  
  
There was a beeping noise.  
  
"Spike! What is that?" Buffy asked, gold light surrounding her.  
  
"BEEP!"  
  
"The amulet. It's not working as we expected." He answered, and suddenly he was gone with another "BEEP!"  
  
Buffy was walking through the halls of some building, the beeping was blocking out all other noises. She spotted Spike and called to him, but he couldn't hear her. He kept walking until he reached a dead end with no doors, and proceeded to walk through the walls. Buffy didn't know how to get to him.  
  
"Jeez, Buffy." A voice said, but she turned around and nobody was there. "Buff, the alarm's been going off for, like, an hour! Get up!" The voice said.  
  
Buffy realized she was lying in her bed, her sister violently shaking her shoulders. "Uhg, leave me alone!" She whined.  
  
"Well, if you don't get up soon we're gonna miss the complimentary continental breakfast. Do you know what that means? Missing free stuff! That's, like, worse than being evil." Dawn said sitting down on the side of Buffy's bed.  
  
The hotel door opened and Willow walked in with Xander trailing closely behind her. "Hey. They were clearing out the buffet, so we grabbed you some muffins." Willow said, throwing a paper bag on the desk.  
  
"You are so lucky you have cool friends, or you'd be condemned for life." Dawn said, then began shaking her head in mock-sadness "Missing out on free stuff. I'm disappointed in you Buff."  
  
"Yeah." Buffy snorted. She got out from under her covers and grabbed the bag of goodies and took them back to sit next to Dawn, handing her one muffin and keeping the other for herself. "So what do you guys wanna do today?" Buffy asked. "I'm surprised, but being back in California has actually kind of, I don't know... reminded me of stuff. I'd forgotten all the good things that were still here, I only remembered the crappity crap. Let's be a big dumb tourists." Buffy said, taking a bite.  
  
"Well," Xander said, almost stumbling over his words "I kind of have an appointment today."  
  
"What? What kind of appointment?" Willow asked.  
  
"It's a thing. I kind of want it to be a surprise, or something." Xander told them.  
  
"Okay..." Buffy said, somewhat mystified. "I guess it's a girls night out, then, but in the daytime."  
  
"We can shop!" Dawn suggested, enthusiastically.  
  
"And go to coffee shops." Willow offered "You'd surprised, with most of our coffee beans and all coming from there, but where me and Kennedy stayed there wasn't a single Starbucks!"  
  
"So you mean Sunnydale actually had *more* Starbucks than somewhere else in the world? I feel a whole lot less special now." Xander joked.  
  
They didn't realize it, but they were talking about the things they'd lost with a smile on their face, and not a hint of bitter in their sweet.  
  
"Okay, so on the agenda is shopping, eating, and I vote for seeing a Johnny Depp movie that's not dubbed over in a language I don't understand." Buffy suggested.  
  
"Sounds spiffy!" Willow agreed.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"You know I had to lie by emission! I don't like doing that!" Xander exclaimed, walking through the halls of Wolfram & Hart. "You have to do something."  
  
"I'm thinking." Spike told him, leading the way. "With an exit like mine, you need to think of a pretty cool entrance."  
  
"I don't think it's the entrance that will matter, Spike. It'll be that you've entered that'll get Buff happy." Xander told him.  
  
Spike turned to Xander, but ignored his last comment instead saying "Okay, we're here."  
  
"We are?" Xander asked, fright evident in his voice. "You're sure we're not on the wrong floor or something?"  
  
"You'll be fine, mate. Fred's got the best in the biz ready to give you a fully functional, and not at all evil eye." Spike assured him.  
  
"Evil?" Xander asked, not calmed a single bit by Spike's efforts.  
  
"Well, Wes told me this story about how these people were getting body parts from these people in freeze chambers or something, and they would make people kill themselves and stuff. But not to worry, your eye is made completely from scratch."  
  
"It's not gonna look like Professor Moody's, is it?" Xander asked, amusing himself with pop culture references.  
  
"Yeah, I don't know who that is, mate, but I'm sure you'll be fine." Spike answered "Now go on in. I can't come, medical reasons or something."  
  
"Wait, what if the scientists themselves are evil? What if they do evil experiments on me? What if they make me their zombie servant? What if-" Xander babbled until Spike cut him off.  
  
"Fred'll be there, and you have it under the good authority of me that she won't let you down." Spike told him.  
  
"Okay." Xander finally relented "But if-"  
  
Spike smiled "If won't happen, and if it did, you know *I* wouldn't let you down."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Buffy, Dawn, and Willow exited to movie theater later that evening.  
  
"Johnny was *so* gypped of the Oscar!" Buffy complained.  
  
"Tell me about it!" Willow agreed, taking a slurp of her slushie.  
  
"So we've shopped, talked, caffeineated ourselves, and seen the sexiness of Orlando Bloom." Dawn recounted. "What now?"  
  
"Maybe we can eat out?" Buffy suggested. "Let's call Xander's cell and see if he wants to join us."  
  
"Sounds good to me." Willow confirmed "But what was up with the cryptic this morning. It was really weird."  
  
"Well, things have definitely been rough recently, but I have to agree I was at a loss too." Buffy said, remembering his actions earlier that day, "Xander was acting strangely."  
  
Just as Buffy grabbed her cell to call Xander, it rang, with Xander calling her.  
  
"Hey Xand," She said, flipping her phone open.  
  
"I feel like celebrating! Let's go somewhere to eat." he exclaimed over the phone.  
  
"Boy, great minds..." Buffy mumbled to herself "Where'd you have in mind?"  
  
"Oh, nowhere in particular! You can choose! Anywhere!" Xander continued to exclaim loudly and happily.  
  
"Okay, uh, where are you? We can meet somewhere in the middle." Buffy suggested.  
  
"No, that's not necessary. I can come to you, I wanna see the sights of the city." Xander said, partly wanting to try out his new eye, and partly wanting to not tell them he was standing in the lobby of Wolfram & Hart, and right next to Spike.  
  
"Um, okay. We're right next to some family restaurant. And there's a French place and an Italian place right across the street." Buffy offered.  
  
"Sure!" Xander replied.  
  
"'Sure' which one?" Buffy asked, a little annoyed.  
  
"I vote for the one with all the pixie lights." Dawn said, having heard Buffy's side of the conversation, and most of Xander's since he was talking unusually loud and cheerily.  
  
Buffy told Xander how to get to the restaurant and hung up the phone. "He was freakishly happy." She told the others.  
  
"Wonder what that's all about. I think we should tie him down and torture him 'till he tells us the truth about what's going on." Willow replied.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Xander hung up the phone. "Hey Spike," he said turning to look at him "you know you can come." he suggested.  
  
TBC 


	7. Confidance

When In Rome  
  
7 Confidance  
  
"Okay, okay" Spike took a deep breath "I can do this." he said leaning up to get out of the taxi Xander had just exited a little way down from the restaurant Buffy was in.   
  
"No, I can't." he conceeded, sitting back down again.  
  
"What?!" Xander asked, snapping his head around to look at his new friend. "You better, buster."  
  
"No, I can't." Spike stubbornly refuted.  
  
"Is our little Spikey-wikey a wittle scaredy-waredy?" Xander asked mockingly.  
  
"No!" Spike angrily shot back "Maybe..." he sheepishly corrected before giving in and sighing "Oh yes, fine! I'm scared! I'm a wimp and a loser and I suck, not literally though, 'cause I have a soul now, and the First isn't brainwashing me."  
  
Xander rolled his eyes, which he had two of. "Get up, get out, get in that restaraunt." He stated.  
  
"It's not possible, sorry."  
  
"You know," the taxi driver said turning around to face them both "this is costing you, it's on the door, see? 'parked or stuck in trafic: $.25 per minute', that means you owe me an extra quarter now, even though you already paid."  
  
"Hey, mate, I'll give you more than a quarter if you just drive away right now." Spike offered.  
  
"Don't even think about it!" Xander said grabbing hold of the door, "How about this, right now you just get out of the taxi, make small steps. Think about it this way: you're not getting out to go see Buffy, your getting out to get out of a taxi. I mean, with vampiric smelling the reek must be even worse for you."  
  
The taxi driver looked at the two out of the corner of his eye, they were starting to scare him.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Buffy interupted Willow in the middle of her sentence "If Xander's not here soon I'm gonna just order without him. I'm really hungry."  
  
"Me, too!" Dawn whined.  
  
"Well talk about timing!" Willow said pointing for Buffy and Dawn to look up to where Xander was speaking to the hostess trying to find out where their table was. "Hey Xand" Willow called out "We're over here!"  
  
Xander heard her and walked over to them, adding a "hey" as he got closer.  
  
Buffy gasped. Xander assumed she was shocked by Spike's reappearance, and turn to give him a little nod before realizing Spike was, in fact, not there.  
  
"W-W-What?" Willow stammered. "You-you-"  
  
"Cool glass eye!" Dawn enthused.  
  
"ActuallyÐ Xander started before inturrupting himself "One sec, we'll discuss this, I just... have to..." he paused, searching for an excuse to go outside and get Spike "go to the bathroom!" he finally spit out, after which he promptly ran outside.  
  
"The bathroom's back that way!" Willow fruitlessly called out.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Xander walked outside to find Spike leaning on the side of the building smoking a cigarette.  
  
"You know, if you plan on having anything lasting with Buffy you have to give those up. Second hand smoke kills." Xander quipped.  
  
"Plan?" Spike asked laughing "You can't plan anything! And me and Buffy? I can't even get into that. Besides, I've been dead half a year to her, she's moved on. And her hair is different."  
  
"Look, Spike, I'm not saying you two are going to be able to pick up where you left off. I'm not saying you'll simply fall into each other's arms and live happily ever after. I'm saying: the bond you two had can't be broken. Not by death, or time, or distance. Sure, maybe it will change, maybe it will alter, but it can't be broken. Remember; Buffy died. We all kept on loving her." Xander encouraged. "If you really did love her like you said you did, you wouldn't do this to her. You wouldn't keep her in the dark about this, she desearves to know."  
  
Spike nodded "When did you become so eloquent? What happened to the whelp?" he joked "Who died and made you king?"  
  
"I've always be king... of the cretins, but king nonetheless." Xander smiled, "No get your undead little british arse in there."  
  
"Right." Spike agreed. "I need a mantra, I need you to give me a confidence building mantra."  
  
"Uhh... 'A stitch in time saves nine'." Xander offered.  
  
"What does that have to do with confidence?" Spike asked, scrunching his face up in annoyance.  
  
"I don't know, it was the first cliche I could think of."  
  
"Mantras and cliches are not the same thing." Spike said, sighing. "I see I'm clearly on my own in this. Right, so, 'Spike, you are a real neat guy. You can do this.'"  
  
Xander burst out laughing, "Sorry, man." He said first, before admitting "But how could I not?"  
  
Spike glowered at him, but it was obvious the whelp had grown on him. "You can do eet!" Xander said faking a spanish accent "You can do eet!"  
  
"Humans." Spike sighed under his breath, following Xander in.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Buffy wrote out a list of questions she was going to ask Xander in her head. He'd been acting strangely, then he shows up with an eye, then he acts strange again. 'Something very strange was going on', she noted, before sarcastically reprimanding herself with a 'Nice work Percept-o gal'.  
  
Xander was standing in front of her again. She opened up her mouth to begin her tirade, and forgot every last word of it. Spike was standing there.  
  
TBC 


	8. So We Meet Again

When In Rome  
  
So, I have no idea what I'm doing. When I originally started this it was going to be Buffy and Dawn in Rome, but I wanted to pay tribute to one of my favorite characters of all time: Cordy, so I sent them to L.A. I don't know what to do with Spike and Buffy, I'm a Spuffy fan, but I want it to seem natural. Plus I just totally abandoned Dana in Rome, though I'm sure nobody cares about her. Aah!   
  
8 So We Meet Again _______________  
  
Currently Buffy balled her hands and rubbed her eyes in pure cartoon fashion. Spike was still standing there.  
  
"Hello, Buffy." He said giving a nervous smile.  
  
Buffy coughed, she realized she hadn't been breathing for the past minute or so. Spike didn't know what to think. She was sitting there in an unreadable state of shock.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Five Minutes Ago  
  
Xander was heading in to the restaurant, and suddenly he stopped and turned around to face Spike. "Look, I don't really know where her feelings are, ya know? Talking about you was kind of taboo. We weren't always- uh- supportive in Buffy's decisions regarding you. I know that, but... Remember when Buffy was right about The First hiding something at the vineyard, but none of us believed her? Same thing with you. She saw something in you we couldn't see, until it was too late. Except now it's not too late. You both deserve this chance, but really that's all it is: a chance. I don't really know anything about where this could go."  
  
"Well, I've yet to find a road map to life, so I'm pretty sure everyone is in the same boat." Spike snarked.  
  
"Mixed metaphor much?" Xander jokingly inquired, leading the way in.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Present  
  
"Spike." Buffy managed, before switching gears and yelling "Evil hologram monster!"  
  
Restaurant patrons turned their heads to look at them. Xander looked around and gave them a sheepish smile "She really gets in to charades." he lamely offered.  
  
"You have no rightÐ" Buffy started deathly angry.  
  
"Buff" Willow interrupted, lightly tapping her hand and whispering "I think that's really Spike."  
  
"I agree." Spike stated. He gave a slight head nod and waved his hand to Dawn and Willow. "Hello, Dawn, Willow, good to see you again."  
  
Dawn looked around at a flabbergast Buffy, a confused but supportive Willow, and an apparently already in the know Xander, and realized she'd have to take the initiative. "How are you here?"  
  
"It's kind of a boring story, really. What've you been up to?" Spike answered curtly.  
  
Dawn answered in a rapid fire manner "School in Rome, I think this boy Tom likes me, I'm close to failing science, Buffy threw me this really sweet but kinda lame surprise birthday party, and I think I'm allergic to shellfish. Now, you?"  
  
"Someone found the amulet, mailed it to Wolfram & Hart, I became a ghost, then some weird nemesis of Angel recorporealized me (still not sure exactly why). Here I am." Spike answered, equally as fast and aiming for passe.  
  
Buffy, who had been in some sort of stupor snapped out of it to turn to Dawn and whine "You thought my party was lame?"  
  
"I totally knew about it ages in advance, not you're fault though. Andrew's a blabber mouth." Dawn answered, then turned back to Spike. "So, you work at Wolfram & Hart too?" She asked.  
  
"Well, the thing was, when that guy recorporealized me he pretended he had these visions and rot and told me where to go to help people. So I thought I was a free agent, but after finding out that was a hoax- well I've kind of been warming up to Wolfram & Hart. At least I know what that place is: ambiguously evil. And I know what *I* am: good, or at least I try to be. So, the short answer, kind of."  
  
There was a long pause. Everyone just sat there and stared, Xander tried to give Spike a reassuring smile, but it just came out as nauseous.  
  
"Well, I'll let you get to your dinner." Spike said after a long while, turning to leave.  
  
"Wait." A female voice said. Spike turned around to see Willow continue to speak. "You can join us..." she said softly.  
  
Spike froze and looked out at the other's faces, primarily Buffy, to see how they felt. Buffy was still unreadable, and the back of her head was even harder to decipher than the front. This fact he knew because Buffy had turned completely around.  
  
When Buffy turned back to where he could see her face she had chair, stolen from the table behind her, in tow. She skooched over and put the chair next to her. "You can sit here." she suggested.  
  
TBC 


	9. Romeless

Interlude: When Not In Rome  
  
Anyway, this is a bit of an interlude for Monica and sisterspuffy, who wrote nice reviews and requested more Giles and Andrew. See, flattery gets you everywhere! :-) BTW, if anyone WANTS to beta that would be nice, but I don't know what exactly that would entail. Also, sorry my chapters are so short!  
  
9 Romelss (get it? romeless-homeless? har har. you will when you read the chapter, it still won't be funny, though :-) !)  
  
"We live out of a suitcase, with no place to call home, no one to miss us when we're gone. Traveling city to city, town to town. Always a stranger." Andrew said dramatically, removing a Green Lantern shaped toothbrush from his knapsack.  
  
Giles sighed and rolled his eyes. Over the summer they had done a lot of traveling together, finding slayers, helping them out. Then he decided he better set up a home base. After all, they couldn't find everyone, and sometimes someone might need to find them. So, what the Scoobies called the Bootleg Counsel was created. Andrew was the street team, looking for those in need. Giles was the home base, waiting for them.  
  
To be honest, Giles was a little jealous of Andrew. It was the Ripper in him, he supposed. Of course, he wasn't honest. To admit you were jealous of Andrew would be akin to admitting you didn't dig the Beatles. Giles scoffed, who could not like the Beatles?!? Right, he remembered, who *could* be jealous of Andrew?... *ANDREW* of all people!  
  
"But where would the world be without us?" Andrew questioned threw a pasty mouth. "We're the silent heroes, shadows in the night." Some toothpaste dripped from his mouth.  
  
"For God sakes, wait until your done brushing to talk." Giles snapped.  
  
Andrew spit out the bubbles and rinsed the brush. "Why do you always have to be so British?" He asked in a whiny voice.  
  
Yes, that was the manÐ boyÐ he was jealous of. Because Andrew really *was* a silent hero. He took risks, he made sacrifices, and Giles just answered the phone. Not only that, but Andrew was enjoying himself. He took pleasure in the mission, it was a childhood fantasy come to life. Giles never allowed himself that anymore. There was a time when finding out what demon they were dealing with this week and how to kill it was exciting to him, but he'd seen all to well the damage any given demon could do. It seemed wrong to enjoy it. But Andrew was there too, at the final battle, where so many people died. Of course he hadn't been there when it happened to Buffy. That's when it all changed, he guessed, looking back. He hadn't ever really been the same since then. He lost joy in the mission, because the mission had no qualms about taking someone as brave and heroic as Buffy away. Now Buffy was back, but the feeling couldn't go away. Oh, he didn't have so little faith in it he couldn't fight for it... not anymore. But it still seemed like a mean thing, larger than any of them, and he still wondered: why did the cause of good demand so much sacrifice from them?  
  
"What are you thinking, Obi Wan?" Andrew asked, raising his pointer finger to his chin in a ponderous manner.  
  
"Nothing." Giles answered.  
  
"Is that nothing as in 'something really important I'm too British to share' or nothing as in 'nothing of consequence, young Jedi knight'?" Andrew asked.  
  
"The second one." Giles answered, turning on the TV.  
  
"I think it's the first one." Andrew said, moving to stand in front of the TV.  
  
"Well you never were very bright." Giles grumpily told him.  
  
"Hey, my therapist told me about you guys. I know it's a defense mechanism, I just don't know what your defending." Andrew shot back, but Giles just looked up to the heavens and sighed "The other Scoobies have been working through it, though. They've faced their fears, but you? Your too much of a coward." Andrew said, then stormed out of the hotel room.  
  
Or more like, Tried to storm out of the hotel room. He opened the door, but the security chain prevented it from opening more than an inch. He turned back to Giles, gave a nervous giggle, closed the door, removed the security chain, and opened the door. Once it was open he resumed where he left off, fiercely mad. "GOOD BYE!" He shouted, slamming the door. The chubby maid in the hallway gave him a dirty look. "Oh, I'm sorry!" Giles heard Andrew apologizing through the door.  
  
Why did he do that? Giles wondered. Why did Giles always treat people like he thought he was better, smarter, wiser, when really he felt like a git. Maybe that was it, his disease was three-fold. He lost faith in himself, so he wanted others to have it for him. And in the same vein, he couldn't have faith in anyone else, especially if they had faith in him. And what did the faith of faithless people mean, anyway? And the mission, little faith in that, and jealousy for those who had what he didn't. So what did that leave him with? A jumble of problems and no one to help him through them.  
  
TBC 


	10. Truth Or Dare

When In Rome  
  
Thanks for the great reviews, since ya'll gave me a warm fuzzy feeling, I'm giving something back to you! Read on!  
  
10 Truth Or Dare  
  
The door dramatically burst open. Andrew stood in the frame breathing heavily. "I have been insulted!" he cried charging in. Then he noticed the circle of faces staring at him "Oh sorry, didn't mean to interrupt." he retracted, embarrassment replacing dramatic indignation.  
  
"Hello, Andrew." Buffy sighed rolling her eyes. And that's when he noticed it. The Scoobies were scattered throughout the little hotel room, and among them was Spike.  
  
"Oh, the world is so beautiful!" He exclaimed running up and hugging Spike. "Your part of the world again! You've come clean! Freed from the shackles of lies and secrecy, you can once again walk among the living."  
  
"Wait, you knew he was back and you didn't say anything?" Buffy asked, pissed off.  
  
Andrew giggled nervously "B-b-but h-he told m-meÐ".  
  
Buffy interrupted him, laughing. "I'm just playing with you Andrew. Spike already told me everything."  
  
Andrew first laughed too, relieved. Then he realized he'd been duped and got upset whining "Hey!"  
  
After a while the Scoobies resumed what they had been up to before Andrew had burst in. Buffy was telling Spikeabout everything that had been going on, some of it he had already heard from Xander, but he couldn't tell a story like her. She made everything sound like it was the most important thing ever, at least to him anyway. He was so happy just to listen to her talk, and to watch her and make her laugh. Meanwhile, Dawn was apparently relegating Willow and Xander with a funny story, until something she said reminded Willow of something that happened to her and Xander in the fifth grade, and she set about trying to remind Xander about it. Then Dawn just looked at them blankly.  
  
Andrew felt left out.  
  
"Hey guys! Guess what?" Andrew called out. After a while Spike sarcastically called out "Barry Manilow finally busted you for stealing his wardrobe?"  
  
Andrew took a deep breath. His therapist said he should work on not always needing to be the center of attention. But heyÐ he decidedÐ that was a work in progress. "Let's play truth or dare!" he suggested.  
  
He was surprised at how little convincing it took to get them all to play. "Okay, I'll start because it was my idea!" Andrew said enthusiastically. "Who wants me to ask them a question?"  
  
"Andrew, that's not how it works. " Buffy informed him "You just ask someone truth or dare, whether they want you to or not."  
  
"Okay Brainy the Andrew's self esteem slayer, truth or dare?" he asked Buffy smugly.  
  
"Dare." She said without losing a beat.  
  
"Hmmmn..." Andrew said pondering the situation.  
  
"Ooo! Tell her to make out with Willow... or Dawn! Tell her to make out with Dawn!" Xander said nearly panting with excitment.  
  
"Ew, she's my sister, sicko." Buffy said crinkling her face with disgust.  
  
"Oh yeah, I forgot about that." He recanted, embarrassed. "You can't blame me! There are linoleum floors!"  
  
"What does that have to do with *anything*?" Buffy asked confused.  
  
"Okay! I have it!" Andrew interrupted "Exchange an article of clothing with someone else!"  
  
Buffy giggled and reached across the circle and pulled one of Dawn's socks off. Dawn mildly complained and Andrew sighed "I tried, man." He said turning to Xander.  
  
"Okay. My turn. Uh..." She sat on her choice for a while, but there was really only one person who was really a contender. "Spike, truth or dare?"  
  
"Truth." He answered without skipping a beat "I've got nothing to hide."  
  
Buffy was hoping he'd say dare, she could've told him to take off his shirt or something, but she was almost embarrassed to ask the question she really wanted to know the answer to. "Okay," she finally said "have you, I mean, do you, are youÐ I don't know! Relationships, have any? You know, the romance kind?"  
  
The answer was just as tough for Spike as the question was for Buffy. "Um, well, me and Harm kinda had a thing..."  
  
"I was talking current, Spike, not ages ago." Buffy said rolling her eyes.  
  
"Yeah. Current-ish. But it's over now, we're just friends." Spike said lightly.  
  
"WHAT?!" Buffy asked loudly. Dawn slightly recoiled, great, she thought, more drama. But then suddenly Buffy calmed down, which Dawn knew was also trouble. "You're turn. Ask someone." She said.  
  
"BuffyÐ" Spike tried to continue, but Buffy interrupted.  
  
"Uh, no no no. Let's continue." Buffy said, coolly. Spike sighed. Great. Not even a day and the Slayer was already pissed. Someone call Guiness, this guy must have broken a record.   
  
He looked around the circle of faces trying to choose a questionee "Uh, Willow." Spike said, half heartedly.  
  
"Let's see... dare!" she said excited and ready for action.  
  
"I don't know... make a turnip appear out of thin air."  
  
Willow raised her eyebrows. "A turnip? That's not very scandalous, Spike." She said disappointed.  
  
"So then..." Spike paused, thinking of something better "Do the one thing in all the world you wish you could do."  
  
Willow froze for a moment, and suddenly a turnip appeared on his lap. "The one thing in all the world you want to do is give me a turnip?" Spike asked, raising one eyebrow.  
  
"I can't do that thing. I know, I tried." Willow said, and Spike didn't push any further. He could tell when a person had enough. Willow put on a smile, trying to get back into the game. "Okay Dawnie, choose."  
  
"Eenie meenie miney mo, catch a tiger by the toe, if he hollers let him go, and my mother says to pick the very best one and Y O U spells you!" Dawn said tapping her designer Italian boots on every beat. "Truth won." She said.  
  
"Okay, have you kissed any boys." Willow asked.  
  
"That's such a stupid question." Dawn lamented "You already know that. Remember that vamp football playing guy."  
  
"Oh, right. Momentary lapse of judgment, that doesn't count. Have you kissed any *Italian* boys?" Willow corrected.  
  
Dawn froze for a moment before saying "I don't have to answer that question. I already did your truth."  
  
Buffy's eyes widened. "Oh my God! You did! You did and you didn't tell me about it! Oh my God!" She freaked.  
  
"It was no big deal." Dawn said exasperated. "He just said 'Lei guarda realmente piacevole, vuole avere i miei bambini?' So I said 'PerchŽ s", ci˜ sembra spettacolare.' And then we ha avuto il sesso."  
  
"What?" Buffy asked.  
  
"She says they screwed like bunnies," Spike answered, and Buffy looked like she was about to explode "But I'm pretty sure she was joking."  
  
"Yes I was joking! Not everyone in here is a slut." Dawn shot back.  
  
"Are you calling me a slut?" Buffy asked outraged.  
  
"Uh huh. Buffy is to slut as peanut butter is to jelly."  
  
"Dawn is to gross as Joan Rivers is to freakish alien hybrid." Buffy retorted.  
  
"Buffy is to a loser as Mary-Kate is to Ashley"  
  
"Dawn is to nerd as ugly is to Dawn."  
  
"Wow, do you guys do this a lot?" Xander, whose eyes (with an "s" he happily noted) had been quickly switching back and forth to watch the current speaker, asked. Their argument had changed from anger to a silly game.  
  
"Kinda." Dawn answered perkily. "Shall we continue with the games. Okay, Andrew. Truth or dare?"  
  
"I don't have anything to hide. I'm an open book. Give me your best shot."  
  
Dawn giggled. "Okay... who's your biggest movie star crush?"  
  
Without out missing a beat Andrew said "Yoda." and then after a quick second of realizing what he said his eyes widened and his hand went over his mouth in surprise.  
  
The Scoobies looked at him oddly. "Did you seriously just say the balding little green dude 'weirdly, who talks'?" Dawn asked.  
  
Andrew gave a nervous chuckle. "I anyone want a soda?" he asked before standing up and bolting out the door.  
  
TBC 


	11. Trouble Maker

When In Rome  
  
Someone pointed out some Star Wars gaffe of mine in a review, but all I have to say is: I've improved! When I was little I thought Obi-Wan was OB1, like R2D2 or something! :-) Hee.  
  
11 Troublemaker  
  
Dawn thought about what had happened last night with truth or dare: the whole 'Spike-Buffy debacle' as she was calling it. She used to think of herself as a friend to Spike, so when she felt betrayed it hurt that much more, but if Xander of all people was ready to forgive him, why shouldn't she. In truth she already had, but for some reason she had too much pride to admit it. Something she and her sister had in common. Buffy had avoided Spike as much as possible the rest of the day. So, Dawn thought, it's time to get obnoxious.  
  
"Spike!" Dawn said walking in to an open office and knocking on the wall as she went. No one answered. "The door says this is someone else's office so"  
  
"Yeah, it's Angel's." Spike said walking in behind her. "The bastard still hasn't given me an office."  
  
"You should demand a little respect when you get home... baby." Dawn said quoting great philosopher Aritha Franklin.  
  
Spike chuckled. "So what are you doing her, Little Bit?"  
  
"I'm not so little, ya know." Dawn said, raising her head a little.  
  
Spike smiled. "Yeah, I know. I just missed calling you that, is all."  
  
"I missed hearing it." Dawn said, but she felt a little awkward about it, so she quickly moved on. "Anyway, remember how last night you asked me what I was up to and I was all vague and teenager-y, big with the 'fine's and 'yeah's? I figured we should just meet somewhere and meet. Talk."  
  
"Sure." Spike happily agreed.  
  
"Okay. One pm at that cool place with the bumper cars." Dawn suggested.  
  
"The place by the park? Theeee something Shack." Spike questioned.  
  
"Right. The joint? The stuff?" Dawn brain stormed, trying to remember the name of the restaurant she had seen on her earlier expeditions with Buffy and Willow.  
  
"Oh right. The Junk Shack. No, the Junk Shed. Sounds promising, for a restaurant." Spike said cooly.  
  
Dawn gave a small chuckle. "Okay, see you then." She started to walk out.  
  
"And you'll tell me all about everything, from Italian boys that 'ask you to have their babies'-" he said, referring to what Dawn had told her sister in Italian the other night "to those motor scooter things that are apparently pretty popular there?" Spike called out after her.   
  
Dawn didn't turn around, it was almost like she couldn't look at him. "Uh, yeah."  
  
"Hey, Buff!" Dawn called, walking back into the hotel room and throwing her bag on the bed.  
  
"In here, Dawnie!" Buffy called from the bathroom.  
  
Dawn walked over to see her sister in a summer dress applying makeup in front of the bathroom mirror. "You're not going out anywhere, are you?" Dawn asked with a touch of panic in her voice.  
  
Actually, Angel's friend Lorne, the green one" Buffy said clarifying for her sister, who just impatiently gestured for her to continue "was going to take me, Will and Xand to see a club he was thinking of buying. It's still in business though, so I figured I should look nice."  
  
"How's he going to buy it if someone already owns it?" Dawn asked, temporarily distracted from the mounting unease in her stomach.  
  
"Well he 'heard it on the DL that that fish was gonna sink', or in other words Gunn told him the Regurgitating demon who owns it is gonna be in a bit of trouble with the big guys." Buffy relayed.  
  
"Okay, one: big guys?" Dawn asked, tensely.  
  
"I did not mean polytheistic Gods, I meant Wolfram & Hart." she answered.  
  
"And two: clubbing during the daytime? Isn't that more of a night thing?" Dawn asked, thinly veiling displeasure in something.  
  
"Well, Lorne doesn't own the club yet, so there's no anti-violence spell, and at nighttime vamps show up, and if you know anything about my job description..." Buffy told her sister, smirking, think that should have been common sense.  
  
Dawn looked up, and left, and everywhere but Buffy's eyes. "But I thought maybe we could do some sisterly bonding."  
  
"Hey, did Spike hook you up with a secret operation, too? Because I can't imagine Dawn, my sister, volunteering herself for a family bonding moment without numerous lobotomies." She asked, humorously.  
  
Dawn sighed, her stomach felt like something was swimming in it. "Buffy, but I already made reservations. It's this really swanky place. All the celebrities go there. Cameron Diaz was spotted there with Justin Timberlake just last week."  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes "What time is it for? I'm a flexible person."  
  
"One o'clock." Dawn answered.  
  
TBC 


	12. Champion Trap

When in Rome  
  
Guys, I am so sorry for the ages between updates! Some bad stuff happened and stuff seemed less important, but now I kind of need the silly little trials of Spike and Buffy. I hope you enjoy, and I hope this can come close to being worth the wait, though I doubt it will be.  
  
12 Champion Trap  
  
Buffy walked in to a bright orange painted room with hubcaps on the walls and exposed pipes above her head on the high ceiling. A suspendered man walked over to her "You seem to fit this description." He said pulling out a crinkled post-it "'Blonde hair, probably wearing leather'Ð so do you 'go by the name of Buffy'?"  
  
"That'd be me." She said perkily.  
  
"Okay, your sister says she's running late, but she has a table on hold. Follow me." He said walking to the back of the cafe.  
  
Sun poured in from the windows, but the table Dawn had reserved was in the back in the shadows. Buffy sat down and looked around impatiently. She decided to give twiddling her thumbs a try, and when that lost it's novelty she began to hum.  
  
A few minute's later Spike arrived in the storing room from the sewers and tried to discretely move into the main area. As he snuck through the doors he noticed- not Dawn, but Buffy.  
  
"Slayer." He said timidly, wondering if she was still upset over the Harmony debacle.  
  
"Spike. What are you doing here?" she asked, eyebrows furrowing in annoyance.  
  
Spike gave a sarcastic half smile, nope, she was thrilled to see him. He walked over to the table and pulled out the other chair, but decided not to sit in it. He wasn't that much of a punk... anymore, so he finally opted to save the cockiness and rude remarks and just answer the question. "Here to meet Dawn, pet." He said, cringing, he hadn't meant to let the "pet" out, for some reason that always bothered her.  
  
Sure enough, Buffy rolled her eyes. "We're stupid." She said.  
  
Spike was a bit taken aback by how she included herself in that, but then she continued. "Dawn's the reason I'm here too, and this is a table for two. She's reaching from the classics again, remember that Halloween catastrophe? Damn, I never should have gotten that cable with the Nick at Nite and the TV Land!"  
  
Spike smiled, but then he saw Buffy reach behind her chair to pick up her bag and start to get up. "Buffy, since we're here don't you think we could talk?" He asked.  
  
"No! Talking's what she wants!" She said as she stood up.  
  
Spike panicked and grabbed her hand. "But I have things I have to say."  
  
"Then why didn't you come to Rome to say them to me?! I don't understand, Spike! You said you weren't ready yet or some bullshit like that and that's why you couldn't come see me! But all the while you're banging Harmony!" Buffy said, raising her voice with every syllable. "How does that make sense?"  
  
"But it's notÐ it wasn't what you think. I was a ghost, and then, but, she was there." Spike stuttered.  
  
Buffy's eyes lit up with anger. "She was there? She was there?!?! Well maybe I should just screw him!" she nearly shrieked, pointing to a suspendered waiter who was walking by, and stopped to look at the pair with with big terrified eyes. "I mean, he is right here, after all!" She now had an audience of restaurant patrons watching her. "You" she said, curling her lip in disgust, but never finished her sentence as she couldn't think of anything awful enough to call him.  
  
"Excuse me," the host who had shown Buffy to her seat earlier said coming up to the two "I'm going to have to ask you to leave." and he began leading them to the door.  
  
"But you see, wait! My coat, I left it." Spike said trying to go back.  
  
"You weren't wearing your coat you moron." Buffy said.  
  
"But, I can't go outside." He said, shooting her a pointed glance.  
  
"Sir, step this way." the waiter said, opening the door. Buffy could already hear Spike begin to sizzle.  
  
Buffy relented, "You've made a mistake. Listen," she said matter of factly, but he wouldn't.  
  
They were pushed outside and Spike held his hand over his face an moaned. Suddenly, he notice he was no longer in direct sunlight.   
  
"Look, I'm only doing this because you saved the world. I'm still mad at you." Buffy was pushing herself up against Spike to stop the sun's rays. Okay, she wasn't exactly bigger than Spike, and he was still sizzling in a few places, but he didn't really mind since Buffy was so close.  
  
"Since we're here already and all, now seems like a good time to talk." Spike said.  
  
"Oh really? You think? 'Cause you annoy me and I'm catching a cab, and you know what that means? You're catching some sunlight." Buffy fired back, still angry.  
  
"Well, I'll take that chance, since I have a feeling after we leave here, I'm not gonna get much of a chance to speak to you again. You know how I feel about you, and I made a mistake" He started.  
  
"I know how you feel about me? Really? Because I told you how I felt about you, and you're off with some other girl! For the longest time I couldn't even find another guy attractive let alone bang them I was so retardedly blinded by you and your peroxide hair. By the way, thank God you do go out in the sun much, it seriously is blinding."  
  
"Wait, back track. How you feel about me?" Spike asked.  
  
"Spike, I told you that I- God! Do you really think that I'm that awful a person that the last thing I would ever say to you would be a lie? Besides, I obviously don't know you any more." Buffy said, pulling her hand away, which Spike thought meant his demise causing him to begin to freak out. Buffy just gave an amused eyeroll and pulled the cell phone out of her back pocket.  
  
"Hello, Dawn?... I need a ride.... Oh, the lunch with Spike went fabulous, but if you don't come soon he's gonna be dust.... I didn't do anything to him!... Just hurry up, okay?... Kay, bye." Spike listened to Buffy's side of the conversation.  
  
"Now, Buffy." he said once she'd hung up the phone.  
  
"You're still at this?" she sighed.  
  
"Yes, I'm afraid I will be forever." He answered.  
  
"You were always so melodramatic." She said, then assuming a bad British accent "'Buffy, I LOVE you! I got a soul for you! You don't belong here, you belong with me in the shadows.'"  
  
"I said that last part before I got a soul, and I was wrong. This only proves it." He said, motioning to the scene of Buffy standing in the sun, keeping it's harmful rays away from himself. "But back to what you said before: that you don't know me anymore. That's kind of why I was so afraid to see you. Things got so good last year, there was so much potential."  
  
"Yeah, but potential is really anything until it's acted on."  
  
"I was just scared Buffy. It doesn't have anything to do with you. It's just about me."  
  
"It doesn't matter, Spike. I'm gonna have to go back to Rome anyway. I have a home there and Dawn has school and a life. Maybe it's better if we just leave this the way it is."  
  
"No, Buffy-" but just then a taxi pulled up and the window rolled down.  
  
"What are you doing?" Dawn asked giving them a weird look.  
  
"Just help me get Spike into the cab."  
  
TBC 


	13. Worth the Wait

When in Rome (That name is really starting to tick me off! :-)!)  
  
RL has been so much better I just got back from a week of digital video class, and had a fun weekend at an amusement park! Hopefully the joy has rubbed off.  
  
13 Worth the Wait  
  
Lucky Thirteen!  
  
You know when people say they can just sit with each other in comfortable silence? That they can just look at each other and feel what the other is feeling, without saying a word, and the silence is a pleasant companion. This was not that kind of silence. Dawn sat in between a peeved Buffy, who would glare at her or Spike every few minutes, and a very pine-y Spike who huddled beneath Dawn's jean jacket to hide from the sun. She had tried to start up conversation a few times, but finally gave up when Buffy's stark, monosyllabalic answers, and Spike's pained striving for levity became too much for her to handle. Finally they reached the new club Lorne had bought. He was planning on turning it into the backdrop for a new scene of music, like Seattle or CBGB's was, because he could guarantee that all the artists that played in it would get famous since he practically ran the entertainment industry.  
  
"Wait here." Buffy said getting out of the cab. "I'll get something bigger to cover you up with. No chance taking."  
  
Dawn and Spike sat there for a minute in some more awkward silence. Finally she turned to Spike and quickly asked "What are you gonna do?"  
  
Spike looked up at Dawn and raised an eyebrow. "Huh NibDawn?"  
  
"About Buffy... You love her right? So what are you going to do?" She asked.  
  
"I do love her you're right. I just don't no if that can be enough here." Spike answered, curtly.  
  
"Look, I think she at least has feelings about you, too. Otherwise I wouldn't have bothered with this whole thing. Just try not to give up." Dawn said, as she slid out of the taxi.  
  
Spike looked at her slightly awe struck "When did you become this smart and level headed?" He asked.  
  
"Oh, I've always been this way." She said, nonchalantly. "Except when I ran away and told Ben I was the key. And when and lied and and ran away and made out with a vampire. And when I stole a shiney tooth brush. And when I ran away to try and stop Willow by going to Rack's. And when I thought I was a potential slayer and ran away to a vampire infested school... I told Buffy: "Let me wear heels" and she's all "No, no. You're already too much taller than me" but in retrospect it might've saved her a bit of trouble if she did." Spike laughed, and Dawn looked down and smiled. "Good luck." She said walking away.  
  
As Dawn walked into the club, Buffy was walking out. Dawn gave her a big grin, and Buffy just raised her eyebrows and continued on.  
  
"Here." She said throwing a blanket-like piece of canvas that had been used to protect the floor during the club's new paint-job into the car. "Got money for the taxi?" she asked.  
  
"I guess" Spike answered, sounding like he wanted to say more, but Buffy interrupted.  
  
"Okay, I'll be in the club. See you." And walked away.  
  
The cabby looked back at Spike with a smirk. "I'm sleeping on the couch myself this week."  
  
Spike flashed him an unappreciative smile. "Here's your money." He said handing him some bills.  
  
"Wait a sec, buddy. This isn't enough." The cab driver barked.  
  
"What do you mean. I looked at the meter when we arrived: it was $9.50, I handed you ten, you have more than enough."  
  
"Sitting fee." He answered.  
  
Spike sighed exasperatedly. "How much?"  
  
"Another dollar." The cabby answered.  
  
"Here, enjoy it. In fact, here's another ten. Buy the wife a gum ball." Spike said, handing him over money and throwing the blanket over his head, and running in to the building.   
  
If Spike had been a bit short with the cab driver, he could hardly blame himself: if was feeling very wallow-y. It seemed as though what he feared would end more than anything, and, hoped would start more than everything, was truly over. Buffy wouldn't give him the time of day (well, the night time of day, he was fearing if he pushed it a little too much she'd give him the sunny day time of day). And then, as he stomped on a little spurt of flame that had sprung up on the canvas, he realized: what was really different? When was the last time Spike felt he had a chance with Buffy and actually did? Where love was concerned, Spike had no pride so what was there left to lose?  
  
Spike walked in to the main room, with a small stage in the front, and a bar on the right.  
  
"Okay, I'm going to flip one set of lights, and then another, and you're going to tell me which gives off a classier ambiance." Lorne was saying, first switching on blue lights which enveloped the place with a cool atmosphere, and then orange and gold lights which made the air seem tangible. Buffy was talking to Fred and Angel, sitting around a high little trendy table, and Gunn was telling Wes and Dawn an amusing story, Willow, Xander, Andrew and Giles hadn't yet arrived. Buffy noticed Spike arrive and tensened up, Fred and Angel noticed this and turned to see the source of discomfort. Angel gave Spike a smirk, and Fred crinkled her eyebrows, looking at Spike curiously.  
  
"Be right back." Fred said, getting up and walking over to Spike, pulling him into the corner. "So what are you gonna do?" She asked. Spike looked at her confused, so she clarified, "Dawn told me... everything, I'm pretty sure. And there's no way your gonna be able to justify sleeping with your ex, so don't even try. Just go right for the sorry."  
  
"What am I, the charitable case of the year?" Spike asked, exasperatedly.  
  
"Look, I know how much you care about her, and Dawn seems to think she cares about you, so I wanna make sure you have a fighting chance, so if it can work, it will at least have a chance."  
  
Spike gave Fred a small smile, it was nice having a friend, it wasn't something he was really used to. Thinking back on his whole life and unlife, Spike realized Dawn was probably his first friend. "So, just apologize."  
  
"Right... you are sorry, right? Honesty is the most important part of relationships in general. You shouldn't apologize unless you mean it." Fred said quickly in her Fred way.  
  
"I'll mean it when I say it." He said, then adding "And don't you think you should be honest as well?"  
  
"What does that mean?" Fred asked, "I'm being honest."  
  
"No, I mean to Wesley... about how you feel a bout him." Spike corrected.  
  
"How-... Fine, I'll be honest if you'll be honest." Fred offered, sticking out her hand as if to bind the deal. Spike took it and they shook. "I'm ready if you are." She said.  
  
"Okay, I'm gonna flip the lights again! Pay close attention!" Lorne said, returning the icy blue lights.  
  
"You're on." Spike agreed, and Fred walked off to get Wes, and Spike over to interrupt Buffy and Angel's discussion, which was apparently about the irony of ancient munk-crafted fighting axes.  
  
"Buffy, I have to talk to you a minute." Spike injected.  
  
"Can't you see we're talking?" Angel asked, somewhat smugly, Angel and Spike's rivalry still as fierce as ever.  
  
"Um, I think I'll take this, Angel. Be right back." Buffy said, getting up. Spike used all his might to refrain from giving Angel a snarky smirk as he turned to walk with Buffy to the corner of the room. When they reached it, Buffy turned to Spike. "The only reason I'm here is because that was the second most boring discussion of my life, beaten only by every time Giles filled me in on the history, appearance, mating rituals, and all that other boring stuff about the demon I was gonna have to kill that week. Okay? So don't talk to me."  
  
"You see, I have to, Buffy. I don't really have a choice." Spike answered.  
  
"No, I think you really do." Buffy said, cooly.  
  
"No, Buffy, I love you. I have to say these things now. I love you, and I'm sorry about what I did to you, but I won't give up. You can turn me down now, and I'll ask you again tomorrow. You can go back to Rome, and I guess I'll just have to follow you there. I'm nothing if not a fool for love, and I've tried not loving you, but it never worked. It looks to me like these feelings are a forever kind of deal." Spike said earnestly.  
  
"Even if I did love you, Spike, how do you know it would last? You would throw everything you have going for you here away?" Buffy asked, it becoming more apparent that her anger veiled vulnerability.  
  
Spike looked over and saw Fred talking quickly with much traits resembling that of a spasmodic squirrel, in the way she often did when she was nervous, and realized how important she really was to him. "I couldn't throw that away. I guess I'd just have to go back and forth, Rome, L.A., Rome, L.A."  
  
Suddenly Buffy's lungs felt icy, like the air had thinned and turned to crystal inside them. "Maybe, even if we love each other, which I'm not saying we do, but even if we did it wouldn't matter, because we have separate lives now."  
  
"Did you ever get that thing where you think: I have to pee. And then that feeling won't go away if you never pee." Spike said.  
  
"What are you talking about?!" Buffy asked, incredulous.  
  
"I can't stop loving you, and I can't feel at ease without you."  
  
"You're comparing me to having to pee? Now I believe you were a poet." Buffy said, shaking her head.  
  
"God, Buffy, just thinking about you getting on a plane and leaving my life- I feel like I've swallowed battery acid, or that small little sharp toothed animals are eating away at my insides. I don't know how to breath."   
  
Buffy was quite and scared "You don't really need to breath, you know." She whispered.  
  
"Okay, do you have a feel for how the blue lights would be? Did you imagine that you were a patron? Did those lights make you wanna buy a drink?" Lorne called out, nobody answered, the room was silent. "Okay... Those are things to think about when I switch the lights!" He said, flipping the orange lights on.  
  
Spike was looking into Buffy's eyes, but she didn't really see him. The wheels in her head were too busy spinning.  
  
"I can't think of this, Spike, I don't know what I'm doing." Buffy told him, heartfelt-ly.  
  
"You don't have to rush into any de-" But Spike couldn't finish his sentence, due to Buffy's lips being in it's way. It didn't take long for Spike to return the kiss.  
  
Lorne looked out into the small crowd only to saw Wesley and Fred, and Buffy and Spike macking in their own corners. "I guess we'll go with the orange." He said dryly.  
  
TBC  
  
I hope this chapter can tide you over, I won't have regular computer access this summer! 


	14. Outer Space

When in Rome  
  
I'd like to remind people to please leave reviews. I've felt the last chapter was not on par with some of the chapters before it, but got no feedback to indicate one way or another. Reviews are very helpful to the author and can help make the story better! Thanks in advance!  
  
14 Outer Space  
  
Buffy stepped out into the cool night air. Lorne could be heard testing the mics in the club, but as the heavy back door closed, his voice became indecipherabley muffled. Buffy sat down on a stoop, not noticing anyone else was there.  
  
"Hey Buff, what's up?" Willow asked, stepping out of the shadows. She had arrived earlier in the evening with the rest of the gang, but had shortly thereafter disappeared. It hadn't occurred to Buffy that she might've had the same idea as herself.  
  
"Oh, I didn't see you there." Buffy said.  
  
"That was kind of apparent with the startled jump." Willow responded, smiling. She walked over and sat next to Buffy on the stoop, turning to look at her friend who was looking off at the stars.  
  
Finally, Buffy pulled herself away from the night sky to look at Willow. "What are you doing out here?" She asked.  
  
"Just wanted some space." Willow answered, looking down. "Couple-dom is kind of hard to watch." She added, causing her to realize something. "By the way, why aren't you in there smooching with Spike?"  
  
Buffy sighed, exactly what she didn't want to talk about. But she had to, and she knew it. "I just think I'm letting myself get to involved. What am I doing, huh? I have a life in Rome - well, not so much, but Dawn has a life in Rome and Dawn is my life!... and Spike has a life, so to speak, here. How is that gonna work?"  
  
Willow got a very worried expression on her face. "I don't know, Buffy, but you have to try. I-I-I mean you have to. Now, I won't lie to you, the Beatles were wrong. Love isn't all you need... but it is important. SO important. And if you let yourself let it go, you'll always be second guessing... and third guessing, and fourth guess, and fifth guessing, and - you get the picture, right? Oh, and if you hadn't noticed, things happen to go wrong a lot in our lives. If you let this time pass, you'll see it as time lost down the line. Trust me." Willow said, speaking hurriedly with urgency, stammering a bit.  
  
Buffy looked at her tenderly and asked "Are we talking about Spike, Tara, or Kennedy here?"  
  
"Little bit of all actually. I'm telling you what I've learned from my experiences, do what you'd like with it." Willow answered.  
  
"Yeah," Buffy replied absentmindedly. Willow stared intently at her trying to get a read on what she was thinking, but couldn't find it.  
  
"Look, I let the magic get in the way of me and Tara. This stupid little inconsequential thing, not unlike distance, robbed me of time with her... and then she was gone. I was mad at Warren, mad at the world, but I kind of think more than anything I was mad at myself. And then with this whole Kennedy thing, it didn't work because I couldn't make it work. I let her get away because I had doubts and issues, about life, about myself, about our relationship. She couldn't wait for me, but you have to try, because if I didn't - at the end of my relationship with Kennedy I would've had the big ugly consuming regret, and that sucks because it doesn't ever really go away. And, hmm, this may be me reaching, but Spike seems like the waiting type." Willow said, laughing. Buffy half-smiled and looked at her friend. "So the question is: is the space to much for you?"   
  
"Look, this may sound shallow to you, but it might be. I mean, look at us. The Scooby Gang split up around the world, and I'm thinking ÔWTF?!? This doesn't make any sense!' And I don't love you any less, or Spike any less, even with the thinking that whole dimensions separated us, but I had to get back in the friend-swing of things when you showed up, I felt less close to you. This isn't right, Will, us all over the place like this. And if it's any indicator as to what a long distance relationship is gonna be like - it's gonna suck!" Buffy answered, candidly.  
  
Willow nodded and leaned back to look at the stars, there was silence between them for a few moments, "I wish it -" Willow whispered before the silence consumed them yet again. Each girl tangled in her own thoughts until finally Willow spoke and broke the silence. "That's the Big Pineapple." Willow said pointing to a cluster of stars with a rueful smile.  
  
Buffy heard the pain evident in her friend's voice and wanted to do something to help her. But it was pain mixed with simple pleasure and bittersweet memory, and what could you say to that? "Will-" Buffy started in an attempt to comfort her friend, but she was cut off.  
  
"Look, I let go of Tara because I had to. I'm moving on, the pain doesn't go away, but I'm moving on. I just don't want anyone to have to go through this unnecessarily." Willow stood up and headed back for the door. "I've had enough space for now. I think I'll close some gaps, see some friends." She added, looking back, then walking back into the club.  
  
Buffy took a deep breath and sighed. She wanted to believe it could work, but felt like doing so would just be naive idealism. But how often had things really gone the way she hoped they would? "If only I could just... make things... make them go right." She thought to herself, when an idea suddenly dawned on her.   
  
"Two birds, one stone." She thought, gleefully, before reprimanding herself "No, I don't want to kill birds. How about, two birds, one loaf of bread. Food, nourishment, that works." Smiling to herself she stood up to head back into the club. She kind of felt humming singing a jaunty tune.  
  
TBC 


End file.
